| What
to do when your Teen is Aggressive and Violent
Everyone
experiences anger - it is a natural outlet for charged
emotions. It is when the anger becomes so uncontrollable
that it develops into a rage that the parent notices
aggressive behavior and violent acts. Parents may need
outside support to identify the issues behind the anger.
What
can I do?
|
Rule out that the behavior
has not been caused by medications or illegal
drug
and/or alcohol use. |
|
TALK to your child at home
or go to a counselor. |
|
Praise POSITIVE behaviors.
Serve as a ROLE MODEL for your child. |
|
Help your teen identify HOW
to deal with their anger. |
|
Provide physical ACTIVITIES
to release the energy created by anger. |
|
Use HUMOR to ease tension. |
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SET clear limits and ENFORCE
these limits. |
|
Ensure that your teen does
not have any weapons. |
|
During a violent episode,
isolate the teen from other family members to
ensure
the safety of others and don’t back
them into a corner. |
|
Contact local law
enforcement if your teen is a danger to self or
others in the home. |
What
are my legal rights?
|
Contact local police
department to assess your teen for referral to
the local
runaway shelter or crisis unit. |
|
Your local runaway shelter
is available to provide counseling to your
family
to address the issues. Make an appointment for
yourself even if your
teen refuses to go with you. |
|
In severe cases, consult
with local law enforcement about pressing charges
against your teen for assault or property damages.
|
24 Hour
Toll Free Numbers:
|
1-800-RUNAWAY
(1-800-786-2929) |
|
1-800-352-5683 |
Links:
What to
do when your teen breaks all of your rules.
The
teen years pose some of the most difficult challenges for
families. Teenagers sometimes say that no one can
understand their feelings, especially parents.
Consequently, the teen may feel angry, alone, and
confused while facing issues about identity, peers, and
sexuality. Parents may be frustrated and angry that the
teen seems to no longer respond to parental authority.
Methods of discipline that worked well in earlier years
may no longer have an effect. Parents may feel frightened
and helpless about the choices their teen is making and
how to best help them.
What can I
do?
|
RESPECT your teen and let
them know you expect responsible behavior. |
|
CARE about things that are
important to your teen. |
|
Continue to see and PRAISE
the good things your teen does, even if they seem
small. |
|
Set REALISTIC rules and
enforce with reasonable consequences. Make sure
the
punishment fits the action. |
|
You may find that WORKING
with your teen to set rules and consequences
improves his/her following them and understanding
them. |
|
ATTEND local parent support
groups. |
|
Parents may need assistance
in managing their teen’s behavior in the
home
and at school. It is important in these
situations to TALK with a professional. |
|
ASK FOR HELP. Contact
your local Children and Family in Need of
Services
(CINS/FINS) agency for free counseling,
support and shelter services. Make an
appointment
for yourself even if your teen refuses to go with
you. |
|
COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE!
COMMUNICATE! |
What are my
legal rights?
|
Contact your local helpline
or United Way to obtain local agency
information
for support. |
|
Call local State Attorney’s
Office or Department of Juvenile Justice with
questions of legal rights. |
24 Hour
Toll Free Numbers:
|
1-800-RUNAWAY
(1-800-786-2929) |
|
1-800-352-5683 |
Links:
What to
do when your teen skips school
There
are many reasons that may contribute to your teen
skipping school. It is important for parents to discuss
with their teen the reasons why they will not go to
school. In many cases, identifying the reasons will
determine the best course of action.
What
can I do?
|
Meet with school staff to
talk about SOLUTIONS. Do your homework –
suggest what programs might work for your teen. |
|
ADJUST your schedule to take
your teen to school. |
|
Call the school DAILY to
check on your teen’s attendance. |
|
ACCOMPANY your teen to
school for the full day. Let your teen know
that
unless they attend school on their own, you will
go with them. |
|
IDENTIFY someone to talk
with you and your teen – maybe a friend,
another
family member, your pastor, family doctor
or a counselor. |
|
Get your teen INVOLVED in
extra-curricular activities at school or in a
community mentor program. |
|
ASK FOR HELP. Contact your
local Children and Family in Need of Services (FINS)
agency for free counseling, support and shelter
services. Make an appointment for yourself even
if your teen refuses to go with you. |
What are my
legal rights?
|
Contact the school and meet
with staff to discuss your options. In some
cases, your teen may not receive a driver’s
license if they are not attending school. |
|
Limit your teen’s
access to the home during school hours. Ask a
neighbor to tell you of daytime activity at your
home if you work. |
|
Explore the possibilities of
changing schools with your teen and school
district staff. |
|
Consider alternative
education programs that may better meet your teen’s
needs and interests. |
|
Enroll your teen into a
private boarding school. |
24 Hour
Toll Free Numbers:
|
1-800-RUNAWAY
(1-800-786-2929) |
|
1-800-352-5683 |
Links:
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What to do when your teen won't talk to
you
Adolescence
is a time of self-exploration, and separation from family
members. Sometimes their behaviors and lack of
communication lead to school failure, family conflicts,
drug abuse, violence or suicide. It is important to
recognize some behaviors as either typical adolescent
separation or possible emotional and/or mental health
problems. Few things hurt like the lack of communication
between parents and children. This pain often feels
unbearable for both the teen and the parent. There is
hope that if the pain is healed, things are usually
better than they have been in the past.
What can I
do?
|
Take the first step. STOP,
LOOK, and LISTEN to what your teen is saying and
not saying. Listen more than talk. |
|
Do not interrupt when your
teen is making a point but request that they give
you the same RESPECT when you are speaking. |
|
ENCOURAGE your teen to
assist you to find solutions. |
|
Talk about events and
feelings and try not to jump to conclusions. |
|
Be aware of WARNING SIGNS
indicating possible mental health or emotional
problems. |
|
Seek outside SUPPORT! Talk
with a friend, neighbor, family doctor or church
pastor. Participate in family counseling. |
|
Ask for HELP. Contact
your local Children and Family in Need of
Services (FINS) agency for free counseling,
support and shelter services. Make an appointment
for yourself even if your teen refuses to go with
you. |
What
are my legal rights?
|
If your teen is depressed or
talking about suicide, contact your local mental
health agency for an immediate assessment. |
|
Contact your local Alcohol,
Drug and Mental Health (ADM) office for
information on accessing the Family Services
Planning Team (FSPT) for services. |
24 Hour
Toll Free Numbers:
|
1-800-RUNAWAY
(1-800-786-2929) |
|
1-800-352-5683 |
Links:
What to
do when your teen is using drugs and/or alcohol
If
you are like many parents, the temptation is to deny the
ugly reality that teen substance use has hit home. But
disbelief and denial only allows the problem to continue
and worsen. Your teen’s behavior and moods may
indicate their use of illegal drugs or alcohol.
What can I
do?
|
Don’t panic! Talk with
your teenager about your worries and how you feel.
Losing your cool could make the situation worse. |
|
LEARN about the drug scene
in your community by contacting local schools,
hospitals, or substance abuse treatment center. |
|
Avoid LENGTHY discussions
while your teen is under the influence. |
|
Determine the DEPTH of the
problem. Is your teen experimenting or has it
become a habit? |
|
Seek APPROPRIATE treatment.
A local counselor will be familiar with available
services and can assist you in developing a short-term
plan while you and your teen get the help they
need. |
|
Select the BEST TREATMENT
for your teen and family. Ask questions such as:
What treatment approaches does the program use?
How will our family be involved in our teen’s
substance abuse treatment? What will the
treatment cost? |
|
Ask for HELP. Contact your
local Children and Family in Need of Services (FINS)
agency for free counseling, support and shelter
services. Make an appointment for yourself even
if your teen refuses to go with you. |
What
are my legal rights?
|
If your teen is under the
influence, contact law enforcement and request
they assess your child for referral to a detox
program. |
|
Contact your local Clerk of
Court about the Marchman Act that may allow for
involuntary referral of your teen to a treatment
program. |
24 Hour
Toll Free Numbers:
|
1-800-RUNAWAY
(1-800-786-2929) |
|
1-800-352-5683 |
Links:
As a parent, what are my rights?
If
you are like many parents with a teen in the home, it can
be a difficult time for everyone. In some cases,
dialogue, counseling and even social services may not be
making a difference in finding common ground with your
teen. You may feel that you are at the end of your rope
and have lost all control. Following are some rights
afforded you by state law that you may not be aware of.
In Florida, as a parent, you are responsible for your
children until their 18th birthday and can not
deny them food, clothing or shelter.
What
are my legal rights?
You
can access the Florida Statute (F.S.) references listed
below by going to www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes or your
local library.
Excessive
unexcused absences from school
(Compulsory
School Attendance: F.S.
Chapter 232.19)
Rules
and regulations around consequences for youth not
attending school regularly. Truancy petition may be filed
in situations where a student has accumulated 15
unexcused absences in a period of 90 calendar days.
Danger
to self or others
Violence
at home
|
(Domestic
Violence: F.S.
Chapter 741.29) |
|
Procedures
for charges and arrest of suspected individual. |
|
(Domestic
Violence: F.S.
Chapter 741.30) |
|
Injunction
for protection against domestic violence |
Substance
abuse
Runaway,
refusing to follow household rules, not attending school
|
(Children and Families-in-need-of-services: F.S.
Chapter
984.15) |
|
Petition for Child in need of services |
|
